As a clinician working with individuals, couples, and families, I understand how easy it is to fall into the holiday blues, which typically emerge around Thanksgiving and can linger into the New Year, often easing after Valentine’s Day.
This year, the recent U.S. presidential election has introduced additional complexities. Heightened political tension and polarization have left many feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or isolated. Some grapple with disappointment over the election results, while others face stress from navigating challenging conversations with loved ones who hold differing views.
The holiday blues are often perpetuated by the unrealistic way the holidays are depicted in film and on social media: happy couples and happy families having a perfectly happy holiday experience. The constant barrage of this media can amplify feelings of the blues, much like the Grinch struggled to see others delighting in the holiday spirit.
I’ve had some clients try to cope by reminding themselves that other people may have it worse than them, but this perspective does not always cure the blues.
Clients report that the holiday blues can feel intense and unsettling. You may not want to get out of bed, answer phone calls, or leave the house Generally, these feelings are short-lived and will last for a few days or weeks in the days leading up to, during, and after the holiday season.
If these feelings don’t subside, though, they could become clinical depression. It’s important to know the difference between the holiday blues and clinical depression, and to know what to do if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression.
The holidays are a time for connection, celebration, and creating memories, but they can also bring moments of tension, especially during challenging conversations. Setting an intention before entering holiday events can help you stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.
Think of your intention as a compass. Whether it’s to connect, relax, make memories, or enjoy
the present moment, this guiding principle can help you navigate through distractions, difficult
interactions, or emotional exhaustion. It’s not about winning an argument or proving a
point—it’s about creating an atmosphere where joy and understanding can thrive.
Here are a few tips to help make difficult conversations more manageable and productive if you're inclined to talk about the political realm.
Be Prepared: Only engage in a conversation if you’re ready to hear something that
might unsettle you.
Know Your Triggers: Recognize which comments, tones, or expressions might test your
patience, and plan how to respond calmly.
Set Boundaries: If a discussion becomes overwhelming, give yourself permission to step
away. Chat with an ally, take deep breaths, or go for a quick walk to regain your
composure.
Practice Compassionate Listening: When possible, approach conversations with an
open heart and a willingness to understand.
Rely on Facts: Prepare thoughtful, fact-based responses to keep discussions constructive
and less emotional.
What are your triggers: Know what statements, facial expressions, tone of voice that
will trigger you temper.
Set boundaries and stick to them: If your discussion becomes overwhelming, remove
yourself from the conversation (i.e., speak to an ally, take some deep breaths and/or take
a 5 minute walk, if needed)
Know When to Exit: Recognize when a conversation has reached its limit and
gracefully change the subject or walk away.
The holidays are about joy, connection, and cherishing the moment—not about proving who’s
right. By approaching gatherings with intention and kindness, you can foster a positive
atmosphere for yourself and those around you. After all, the best gift you can bring to any
celebration is your presence and positivity!
Holiday-related stresses and the holiday blues may ease once the season is over, but if feelings of boredom, sadness, and apathy persist, it may be time to seek professional help or get treatment. Sometimes, feelings of isolation and unease run deeper than those difficult talks and visits.
Below, you’ll find a quick summary of the distinguishing characteristics of the holiday blues and depression.
HOLIDAY BLUES vs. CLINICAL DEPRESSION
It is important to distinguish between the blues, which often subsides after the holidays, and clinical depression, which often requires professional help and/or treatment. We often use the term "depression" to describe feelings of: sadness, unhappiness, stress, fatigue, or a generalized sense of despair, but it does not meet the definition of Clinical Depression.
The major differences between holiday blues and clinical depression are summarized below:
A. HOLIDAY BLUES
Feelings may be intense and unsettling, especially if the feelings arise around significant times of your life. In this case, around holiday season.
Short-lived. Feelings last only a few days to a few weeks around the holiday season (prior to or just after).
Emotions usually subside after the holiday season and a daily routine is resumed.
It should be a cause for concern if the blues linger for more than two weeks. In this case, the emotions may signal something deeper. If left untreated, these feelings can become a serious condition. If you are feeling depressed, contact your physician and/or call 911 if you are having suicidal thoughts.
FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO THE HOLIDAY BLUES:
The factors that can contribute to the holiday blues can be grouped into three major categories:
Psychological Effects
This may be the first holiday season without a family member, loved one, spouse or a beloved family pet. Whether it is the first or the umpteenth season without a loved one, these feelings of loneliness and sadness can be considerable.
Recalling difficult events that took place during holidays past
Family dynamics can exacerbate conflicts during the holidays.
Problems can arise from being unable to be with one's family members due to conflicting plans or limitations related to time and money
Revisiting strained relationships between family members that resurface when everyone gets together, especially if there is unresolved conflict.
Trying to create the picture-perfect, Norman Rockwell-like holiday celebration. This could be the one you longed for as a child or the one you hope to create for your children
Disappointment may arise when you do not hear from friends and family, or have seasonal expectations that don’t come true
Financial Stressors
Extra cost of gifts, holiday clothes, social functions, and holiday parties taking place in a short span of time.
Financial pressures from friends, family, and children to keep up with everyone else, to have the latest toys or games, the most lights on your house, or the best party.
Commercialization of the holidays adds to this pressure, as we are bombarded with Christmas music/ images and games, starting before Thanksgiving.
Media trying to 'guilt' us into believing we need the latest 'hot item' toy for our children.
Physical Effects
The pressures of the holiday season can be physically taxing, particularly for those whose health is already strained.
Examples of physical stress individuals may experience are:
Body fatigue is common from the added demands of shopping, cooking, baking, cleaning, socializing, entertaining house guests, making presents, and sending Christmas cards. It is no wonder people get tired!
Too much food and drink during the holidays can also cause weight gain. There is pressure to eat more than you need, in particular sweet and fattening foods. This can be particularly frustrating if you are trying to lose weight.
Change in diet, increasing sugar and sweets can lead to fatigue.
Change in daily routines (increasing the normal activity level) can increase stress and lead to fatigue.
Decreased interest in food, sex, work, socializing, and other activities that usually bring pleasure
How To Cope with the Holiday Blues
There are a variety of different coping strategies for dealing with the holiday blues. If you are feeling grief or loss, acknowledge these feelings. Recognize and accept that both positive and negative feelings may be experienced during the holidays, and that this is NORMAL.
Pace yourself. Do not take on more activities, make more commitments, or try and do more than you can reasonably handle. Plan ahead by setting priorities and making budgets before the holidays. Outline a schedule for shopping, baking, visiting, and other events. Create a "To-Do List" if things get overwhelming.
Other strategies:
Prioritize gifts that can't be bought, such as time, support, making memories
Recognize and reframe unrealistic expectations.
Set limits to maintain a balanced diet, eating and drinking in moderation.
Get plenty of rest
Exercise regularly
B. CLINICAL DEPRESSION
Duration - symptoms are present nearly every day and persist for most of the day for at least 2 weeks or more
Pattern - the symptoms occur together during the same time frame
Impairment - the symptoms cause a level of distress or impairment that interferes with important parts of daily functioning, including:
Work – missing work, struggling to focus, performing poorly at work
Self-care – difficulty maintaining personal hygiene and there are often changes in appetite
Social activities – isolation from friends and family,
In more mild cases, the level of functioning may appear to be normal, but it requires markedly increased effort to just maintain the normal level of activity. With a bit of time, and following some suggestions, the symptoms of the blues can often improve, but clinical depression can be a slippery slope.
Finding Help for Depression
If you suspect you may be depressed or know someone who may be depressed, contact your health care provider or family physician. They may be able to help sort out whether what you are experiencing is a transient case of the holiday blues or a more serious case of depression. You may also want to contact a counselor, social worker, or clergy member to help get the resources you need.
If you are feeling depressed, CALL SOMEONE, whether it’s a friend, or family member, your clergy person or physician. Look up counselors, psychologists, social workers, and psychiatrists if you feel you need immediate professional help.
Anyone having suicidal thoughts should seek immediate care, either through their own doctor or through the nearest hospital emergency department. Call 911, your local suicide hot-line or a Crisis Intervention Line.
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